I Heart Baking

I really do. Unfortunately, I don't get a chance very often (I'm usually too busy procrastinating or watching TV). But tonight, to console myself after seeing all our beautiful snow melt away, I decided I was going to make some super duper, awesome tasting, happy making... LEMON BARS! My mom has this really good recipe that makes these AMAZING lemon bars. They have this meringue on top and then a layer of lemony goodness and they are just SO EFFING GOOD. And because I felt like it, I documented the whole process! So, for your viewing pleasure, here are some photos for you to mouth water over (I'm pretty sure "mouth water" isn't a verb, but I'm feeling adventurous tonight).

So, I know they don't look delicious right now, but just you wait and see!

Ladies and gentlemen, the oh-so-important... EGGS!

Lemons: Nature's way of saying "What the hell." But they sure do make good lemon bars :)

I am proud to pronounce that I didn't eat any of the batter... I think.

It looks so cozy and warm...

...AND DELICIOUS.

"I think I'll eat it slowly, because lemon bars can be pretty rich sometimes..."

"...OM NOM NOM NOM."

And that is the tale of my wonderful, glorious lemon bars. They are so very magnificent. I hope this inspires you to go out and make some lemon bars. Or maybe some brownies. Or, dare I say it, A PIE. I know, getting a little crazy here but I believe in you. Yes, I really do.

Lame jokes and hilarious accents

So, just now, I was inspired (by myself) to make a post about lame jokes. And hilarious accents. But mostly lame jokes. And away we go!

Most favorite lame joke of all time:
Q. What do you call a bee that gives milk?
A. A BOO-BEE! (If it doesn't make sense, say it out loud.)

Most punny lame joke:
Q. What is the definition of a good farmer?
A. A man outstanding in his field.

I-honestly-don't-understand-this lame joke:
Q. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A. Polaroids.
(Seriously, somebody please explain it to me)

Funny-because-it's-obvious lame joke:
Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
(I got you there, didn't I?)

Just really lame lame joke:
Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk

Even lamer lame joke:
Q. What do you call a fish with no eye?
A. Fsh.

And as for funny accents, I just love 'em. They are really the best. If I could demonstrate one for you, I would. But this is the Internet, so it just isn't going to happen. Sorry to disappoint. See ya next time!

SNOWTASTIC!

So, I realize I promised exciting news in my last post, but I have BETTER, MORE IN-THE-MOMENT NEWS. (And also, since I don't think anyone is sitting on the edge of their seat, waiting with baited breath, I think it's okay if I skip it.) All right, so, here we go. Are you ready? Here it is:

That is what my yard looks like! And I know that snow is not a big deal for some people but it is for me! And for the superintendent, who decided to close school for two days and give us a two-hour late start tomorrow. So, this week has been pretty awesome. Except for the fact that I have two tests tomorrow, even with the late start. And I haven't exactly spent much time studying for them, what with having to play in the snow and all, so.. BUT TOMORROW IS FRIDAY. So that's good. And I should probably go study now, but I just thought I would share this wonderful week with the interweb. I realize this post isn't very funny. Or meaningful. And that I used the word "and" a lot. I also realize I ruined any suspense this post would have had in the title. But that's okay. Chao for now! 

SO MUCH AMAZEMENT

I regret, yet again, to be writing about the neglect of this blog. But, with so many exciting things to do, who has time to spend on the internet?
Ha. Ha ha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That was a bald faced lie. The exciting things my life consists of as of this moment:

• homework
• room cleaning
• homework

In fact, I've been procrastinating both those things during this blissfully long weekend, and I happen to actually have a WONDERFUL reason: LADY CALYPSO CAME TO VISIT ME! And since I only have two minutes in which to procrastinate left, I will summarize with a few choice words:
AWESOME
CHARISMATIC
HILARIOUS
BEAUTIFIC
FANTASMICAL
GORGEOUSITYNESS

Okay, now we're getting into made up words. But that's just how good it was. More on that later. Also, I realized I promised all you non-existent readers deets about my Thailand trip forever ago (that was an ironic use of the word "deets"). So hold your breath, because... WHOOPS! Out of time! Later!

P.S. You can stop holding your breath now.

Portland, the most magical place in the world.. sort of.

So, I love Portland. It is quite fabulous. I have a friend that I am currently visiting here in good ole' PTown, so I decided to blog about this wonderful place. Although, I have recently learned (as of yesterday) that Portland happens to be the second highest city in the US for sex slave trafficking. But, other than that, it's pretty bomb diggity. For one, there is Powell's. And Powell's just happens to be the coolest book store ever. It is seriously the best. It's just perfect for so many things, like looking for attractive men that you can pretend to know, and sitting in corners near windows. Both of which I may have done today. I also went to Cacao, which is this amazing chocolate place really close to Powell's that has drinking chocolate. It's like heaven in a cup. Heaven that had been sent by baby messenger tiger to a land full of rainbows and narwhals. Yeah, it's that good. Continuing on with my adventures in Portland, I then ended up actually running into an attractive guy I knew. Which was, admittedly, a little bit awkward. But moving on. My next adventure occurred in a most mundane activity: riding the bus. As it turned out, the buses here in Portland are rather expensive. Luckily for me, my friend had her old bus pass from last year. So I flashed it as I jumped on the bus, very sneakily like. It was pro. And the bus driver didn't notice so I totally got away with it. That's right, stickin' it to the system. Defying the man. All that jazz. Now, my final adventure of the day was rather late in the evening. I decided to have some gelato and donut holes...wait for it...BEFORE MY DINNER.  I know, I know, it was a total bad ass move. But totally worth it. The donut holes were amazing.
One final thing before I say goodnight. No Strings Attached: BRILLIANT.
That is all.

Happy Christmas Everybody!

I decided to say Happy Christmas because that's what the Brit's do and the Brit's are awesome, so obviously the only reasonable conclusion would be to imitate them in any way possible. Wow, tangents are fun! Anywho, HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!! I have to say, this is shaping up to be one of my favorite Christmases (Christmas's? What is the plural of Christmas?). I get to spend it with my dad's family in Oregon. I am having a blast spending time with all of them and relaxing my ass off. I also got to see a friend of mine that I haven't seen in awhile and he took me to Dutch Bros. Coffee, which I had never had before. THEY ARE AMAZING. The coffee is magical and the people are just plain awesome. If you get a chance you should totally check them out, they have spots throughout the PNW. But getting back to Christmas.. Now, I know Christmas is about being with family and friends, and I totally am digging the giving spirit. But I just have to say, THERE ARE SO MANY PRESENTS. Obviously not all of them for me, but that is one of my favorite images, the Christmas tree with all the presents under it. And there are just so many! And I have to say, as I've gotten older I have begun to enjoy giving presents as well as receiving them. It's pretty fun. All in all, this Christmas looks like it's going to be one for the ages. I'm so glad I get to be with the people I love. I hope you all are with family and friends this holiday season. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! As well as Happy Hannukah and a joyful day of whatever you wish to celebrate!

P.S. Yes, I know this one is rather lacking in humor, but Christmas is the time for cheesy things like this. Get over it.  

My absence, among other things

Hello all! (And by all, of course I mean that one special lady that actually reads this thing). Yes, it has been awhile, hasn't it? Almost a whole month since my black friday post. But I have excuses! And plenty of them. Prepare yourselves:
1. MUTHA' UCKIN SCHOOL.
No, seriously, this past week I had was like finals week, without the finals. Not so fun.

2. BONES (A.K.A. DAVID BOREANZ)
It's just SO good. Maybe you need a visual:

Dear lord..

3. GLEE

No, not the TV show, I'm actually in my school's Glee club and we went to perform at a home for the.. age-impaired. It was actually quite a nice place. And we got free food. We will also be performing in the lobby of the nutcracker ballet soon, so wish us luck!

4. COOKIES!

So, here's the back story: I go to youth group. No, not creepy-religious-brain-wash youth group. Awesome-funtastic-happy youth group. And tonight we had our Christmas party. It involved a white elephant gift exchange (if you don't know what a white elephant gift exchange is, look it up). For my gift, I decided to make cookies. So I found a recipe and made them... all I-don't-know-how-many-of-them. Trust me, there were a lot. I do however know that there is one less than there originally were, seeing as I just finished eating one. Yes, I eat sugar cookies at 12:40 at night. Don't judge. They are delicious.

Tip: Add Nerds to your cookies. They become wonderfully fantabulous.

So, in making my list of excuses about why I have not posted anything, I have out-blogged myself for one night. But I promise a special surprise blog tomorrow, in which I go into (somewhat) detail about my plans for:

POLYTHENE PAM'S AMAZINGLY EXCITING TRIP TO THAILAND!!!!!!!!!!!! Tune in next week to find out more.